H-n-C: Theme challenge -Do Not Enter-
by Sweediepie
Summary: The twelfth addition to my theme challenge.


**12.[x] DO NOT ENTER**

Disappointed. I'm disappointed and frustrated-irked and everything inbetween! But heck if I could pronounce my emotions aloud. My childlike mentality couldn't piece it together. I'll just say I'm annoyed. You probably won't understand where I'm coming from. As a mother, as a cat and as a victim.

Seventeen years ago, the boy who caused me serious psychological harm, decided to go a little further. The bruises weren't enough-the scratches, bite marks and scenes of indescribable pain. Feeding me his opinions; that I was worthless-he shoved that down my throat. I choked on the mind set that everything is my fault. It wasn't enough yet. Kavelot had to ruin my life. He had to make sure I wouldn't recover. He had to destroy my life. Indefinitely.

So while I slept comfortably beside my boyfriend, he took advantage of my sleeping form; pulled down my pants and-and... I can't even _think _about it! I-I don't wanna! It just hurts. He gave birth to my son, Wybie. Which wasn't my problem until my boyfriend grew attached to him... I fought for custody because I couldn't watch my dog cry. I still can't, ya know. Breaks my widdle heart... I love my Jakey. He-He's my doggy, my good boy.

I can't listen to my children cry either; but there's one that cuts me to pieces the most. This is the heart of my disappointment. You always have a special place in your heart for your first born. It's a special bond. It can't be broken. That's why I'm so frustrated. My boyfriend Jacob was pregnant with twins before we adopted Wybie, we were already expecting. It was the longest year of my life. Months... our toddler made it longer. You never think they'll come and then-poof! Your rushing to the hospital... Well, that didn't happen for us. An angry mob of protesters chased us to a barn-but it was still a magical moment! A moment like you'd never believe...

The moment you become a daddy. And you tenderly stroke the fluff of hair on baby's head. Jacob brought my son and daughter into this world, my sweet Seth and darling Evangeline. Angel for short because... that's just what she was. My children didn't know I existed for a bit. They were curled up at my boyfriend's belly. I only had one purpose. To protect my new family.

I endeavored to be a sufficient father until the kippies were weened off milk. After that, Jacob and I switched parenting roles and I lived my dream.

I became a mother. I guess that's when it started... that bond. The bond between a mama and her boy. Whenever I visited the store, went to work, or met my friends in the park-even conferences with foreign governors! I took Seth with me.

Dressed in the cutest outfits. He wore colors that complimented his soft, serene blue eyes. Much darker than mine and Jakey's. His hair resembled a panda bear. Inked black and super fluffy. Hehe, It looked like my boyfriend's hair when he rolled out of bed in the morning. It wasn't often I was blessed with Seth's smile. Or any emotion at all. I wanted to change that...

Anything he liked, I bought it. Teddy bears, blocks, picture books... Quiet things. Seth didn't like noise. He still doesn't like it. He doesn't always like complete silence either, he likes a gentle noise. The sound of a heartbeat. I know because it used to be mine... Jacob had a long discussion with me about spending our money wisely. Although I didn't take it seriously. I know he was influenced by Angel's sweetness to buy her everything, too. We share a bank account... It doesn't take a genius to review a bank statement.

But I'm getting off topic; as much as I loved Seth, I was starting to think it wasn't mutual. He shivered when I kissed his cheeks. He made a whine when I snuggled into him. So once I was called back to work suddenly, I didn't take him with me. I swapped and decided to spent a couple hours with my daughter. Angel's bright smile attracted many customers at my job. She wasn't fussy... just well-behaved and giddy with sweetness. My little Angel...

I tried to play with her as much as my work load allowed. Everything was just wonderful! My cellphone kept ringing. It ringed. And it ringed-I finally answered it. I heard Jacob's voice on the other line. Or I tried to... it was so loud! The noisy background? I remember it being insanely loud. I had to strain, block my opposite ear and step into the employee's lounge to make anything out. Now panicing at this point, I asked him what the noise was. And my heart stopped... he told me it was my son. He hadn't stopped crying since I left and... he wasn't just crying.

He was crying for me. I scooped up Angel. Quickly running for the house. Even Angel lost her smile. Her brother's cheeks were flushed and hot. His cries softened to quiet sobs. When I came into his sight he raised his tiny arms, and reached for me desperately in want. Jacob exhaustedly continued to cradle him. Looking up to me with sad, pleading eyes. My poor doggy looked ready to pass out. I made the trade and replaced Seth with Angel in Jakey's tired arms.

I don't really like using this phrase to describe a sense of mutral comfort, but I couldn't express it any other way. Being reunited with my Seth; all felt right in the universe. Like the perfect balance between the Earth and the stars. You wouldn't understand. And no amount of colorful words will straighten the concept for you. It's something you have to experience yourself. It's just... a different kind of love. A whole new world of different emotions and perspectives. It's a bond.

That I never realized how strong it was until now. I remember my shirt tightening at my chest, pinned by Seth's claws. He held onto me tight. As though I'd vanished for years. His eyes continued to swell with tears. Rubbing his head into me, lips shivering and a whimper leaving them. The whimper was quick to die. Soon there was just silence. A sweet, soothing silence where only our hearts were speaking. I secured my arms around him. Unearthing a quiet promise to my little one.

"I'll always be here for you."

He never really showed any emotion. But that day... I swear to you, I've never seen a brighter smile. His eyes. It was always his eyes. I learned that day how wrong I'd been to believe he never cared. A hand traveled up to pat his soft head. I brought him closer to kiss his cheek. He shuddered at my touch. Then tilted his head back, glancing up to me with big sparkly eyes, and plainly said, "Mama."

My dream...

This could be the happiest day of my life.

I'm so hurt. I'm so disappointed and frustrated and-I can't say it. You always have a special place in your heart for your first born. It's a special bond. It's special and...

he **destroyed** it.

Our bond is stitched up with pledges and promises. I made a lot of promises to Seth. I promised love, material possessions, ice cream and my greatest promise; to always be there. A promise was important. I said those words often and lovingly, "I promise." When Seth heard those words, he anticipated a positive outcome. Always. I kept my promises. I always will! He can rely on me. When he looked into these eyes they **never** lied! That's why I'm so disappointed... That's why it hurts.

Eventually that day was going to come. The day where our Kippies were formally introduced to the Tweeker community. In hopes they'd create more bonds. We didn't rush into it. We took it slow and easy, being sure to expand on what relationships were already fixed; family. My brother Phineas, is a constant reminder that I'm an orphan. I don't have a mother, nor a father. I never had anyone like that...

I was abandoned. We lived in a dreary mansion. Just my mistress, me and Kavelot. They weren't much of a family but... what choice did I have? Phineas wouldn't share his parents with me. Or his sisters. I have an older brother too, and I'd be surprised if he knew I existed. I didn't want that life for Angel and Seth. They deserved somebody else to count on. Mr. Jasper makes the sweetest babysitter. Eva's a really nice playmate too. Mr. Levi's always helping and defending us. So...

Even though they aren't my family biologically or legally, I'll just pretend we share the same blood and value the friendship I've grown with them. And I want my children to do the same. I'm happy to say, I did introduce them as family. Mr. Levi and Jasper as uncles; Eva as their aunt. I talked Jacob into allowing Phineas to be an uncle. Our little Angel didn't mind. Seth didn't show any interest in my older brother. Honestly, I was relieved about it. It was a long process. But the kippies met everyone in the household, even Perry. I got behind a camera and captured the meetings. It's a beautiful thing. But I always filmed the same reactions; Angel approved and Seth felt indifferent.

Panda flew in from England and we caught up with him. Again, only Angel really liked him. We called up Miss Finnarchi, she brought her girlfriend Nyuu and their toddler, Arthur. Angel looked fascinated when seeing the cloud baby. No doubt she smiled at the pink bubbliness of his face. Her tiny paws reaching to his soft hair. Seth curled up in my arms, blinking a couple times. I still don't know if he liked him. His eyes never said a word.

I was nervous. I didn't know if this would be a good idea. We watched as Mr. Jasper closed his hands around Pepper gently, and brought him down from the air. The baby that Phineas found abandoned at a street curb. I remember he didn't talk much. He just floated and waved to everyone. Jakey and I both really loved him. We didn't know he was a vampire then. Nobody did, and nobody suspected he was. He was more comfortable with Jacob, so he introduced the kippies to him. It surprised us both...

Angel grasped her daddy's shirt, ears sinking into her hair. Her eyes following to Pepper shyly. It was so unlike her. Pepper kept a still expression and waved at her, "Hi." was whispered to her. Angel's first word ever was "Dada", because she really loves her daddy. He never disappointed her. Her second word and response to Pepper that day, was something her and Seth learned together. Her favorite thing in the whole world.

"Bun." A bunny. A white bunny with a cottony tail. That's what she thought of Peppy. She thought he was a bunny. Must have been the ears. Anyway, Seth's reaction to Pepper is just as memorable. He stared at him. He stared at him with a questionable trust. Like he knew something. I don't think Seth knew that Pepper was a vampire, but-but I can't think of any other explanation for the glare!

His eyes were hissing "I'm watching you" like you wouldn't believe a baby could. When I looked down at him, his claws hooked onto me. Almost possessive-overprotective and kinda, dare I say it; like his father. Based on his age I saw the behavior as a faint foreshadowing of Seth's "everything's-mine-and-you-can't-have-it" stage of puppyhood. Just like somebody else I know... We were determined for our kippies to meet _everyone _in the house. The whole family. I thought we'd done just that. I didn't leave anyone out. Jakey told me that we're done for today. If we missed anyone, we'd track them down tomorrow. The kippies needed a nap. So I warmed up a couple bottles of milk and we retired upstairs...

I was still filming at this point. The battery life was dwindling in the camera. I switched it off. As we snuggled into our bed, our babies curled up at the sheet. We were alarmed by a squeaky voice. Giggling to my boyfriend's petname that only I called him. "Jakey! Jakey!" Climbing up the bed we discovered a pretty face we overlooked. Our Kavelotian toddler. I picked up my precious babies. Angel's eyes shut when Pookie wandered over to us. It was going to happen. These things do happen, and once it's begun, it's far from your control.

Pookie's never seen the twins up close. He's always seen them from their cribs or when their being bathed. They were delicate. I couldn't let anyone too close. So when he saw them, his face lit up. He dropped onto his knees with a soft gasp. "Baby?" A miracle. I mistaked it for a miracle. You don't understand what it means to me... I can't explain it. Our toddler carefully, very gently, inched a finger to Seth's cheek.

He eagerly turned to my boyfriend. "Jakey? Baby? This baby?"

Jacob offered a warm smile, picking up the camera. "That's your brother, Pookie."

"Baby..." His little tail wagged, and he licked Seth's cheek, "baby mine!" He went on to cry.

I mistaked it for a miracle. Wybie approving of something like this, especially something that means the world. I decided not to exercise caution. Wybie wasn't threatening him, Seth didn't seem to mind his company and Jacob was behind the camera. So... I thought, this could be a special moment. It had potential to be treasured forever. I must have watched the tape a million times. I still can't accept it. I opened my arms.

"This is Seth, Pookie. He's your bwother."

You don't understand. I'm so disappointed and I-I'm so hurt. Something like this... to happen. Those words will echo through my mind at night. Forever and ever.

"My Seth! Mine!" I witnessed my younger son reaching for him. His eyes shining so bright. The camera died with a part of me. I set Angel down. Seth was snatched out my arms and I was shoved to the floor. It was only beginning...

I can't describe what I'm feeling... I feel so weak. There's a burning in the pit of my stomach, my face feels hot and my body's so tense. I can barely walk as I've been for some time now. I'm heading to a place where I once felt this pain. The only memory that could compare.

It got harder to cuddle him. It got harder to hold him and keep my promise locked and secured; I'd always be there, but I did it. I was there when he needed me. It was hard but I endured whatever challenge was thrown at me. Even after CJ and Kyara were born, I made time for him. He just... never made it for me. Seth grew up to be quiet, rebellious and equally anti-social. He didn't have any friends. He didn't attempt to shape any relationships with the exception of one, Wybie. The only person he puts his trust into. The only somebody that he sets the highest expectations for, and you know something? ...He fails him.

These blue eyes never lied! I kept my promises! Understand this; it's the same blue eyes. He's got my eyes. He's got my face and my genetic code... do you know what happens when he fails him?

**I fail him. **Because he remembers my promises. This bond is built on the foundation of my promises. He trusts him because he looks like _me_. So can you understand my pain!? Can you understand my frustration and disappointment-my **anger**!? When I tell you... that he broke my promise? He's not always there! He left my baby alone! He's in tears because of _him_.

...Because of me.

I rammed myself up against a rusty fence. The spaces between my fingers interlocked by the rusted holes. It boldly read, "**Do not enter**" in dripping red letters. These tears rushing down my face, in hot streams down my cheeks. I don't care... You don't understand what it means to me. To break a special bond. I can't explain it.

Despite what he's done; him ruining my life, I can forgive Kavelot. He didn't come between me and Jacob. He never hurt my children... I-I don't hate him... I don't dislike him at all. He's my family. He's made up for ruining my childhood. These scars have since healed. I don't... I-I can't... He ruined Seth's life, broke our bond and made Jacob cry. He made my doggy cry! He's destroyed everything dear to me! I-I ca-I-I-!

"I HATE HIIIIIIM!" I screamed and cried and punched at the sign. Once, twice-then the fence fell. Blazing alive with a colorless flame. It didn't spread. It didn't flicker... it glowed. I just watched it burn. It quelled the wrenching of my heart, it eased the pain. I slid down the warm fence. My body felt cooler at the pavement. The sky raged upon me. Rain-heavy drops washing over me. God was punishing me... I curled up to the concrete. Staring up at my mistress's mansion sealed off in police tape. I know pain. I know torment and it's loss.

...But.

I know happiness and it's love. I'm a mother. I'm a husband and I'm a defender of lives. I had to pick up. Carrying myself back into town, where I slipped inside the house. It was quiet. I didn't have the energy for climbing stairs. I occupied the couch without a second thought.

"-O!"

My ears twitched at the sound of a concerned voice. "Yo! Can you hear me? Greg? ...Aw, maaaan. How am I gonna explain this to my folks!? This looks so wr-!"

I lost consciousness again.

A voice misted into my ears. "Ha! Are you freakin' kidding me!? Greg! Get up man!" The next morning's light poured onto my face. I can't recall anything except for the fact my head's pounding. There's a weight at my chest and my body's cold. What the heck? I was mad about something, wasn't I? Ughh...

"Greg! Come-on, get up bro!"

Is that Phineas? What's he doing in my house? There's a restraining order... for something. I can't even remember what he's charged for. Am I suffering amnesia? No. I clearly know I'm Gregory. That's Phineas, we're brothers and... he's a pervert.

"W-What the hell!? Phineas, what the hell did you do to my husband!?"

"Nothing! Hehe-I-I didn't do this! Pepper found him like this!"

Jacob? ...Why isn't he kicking him out? He can't be in the house. We'll lose our kids or something. Ughh! My stomach is killing me... I'm gonna be sick.

"Greg? Come-on hon, wake up..." He started shaking me. He's shaking me harder and harder. I broke into consciousness, eyes peeling open. "Ja...key?"

My husband carefully brought me up. I clutched my belly, ears switching lightly. "Nn... I feel sick." Whoa, I'm talking again! I finally had a face to match my brother's mocking laughter.

"Hahaha! Dude, you reek of booze! I didn't know you were drinking! You should have invited me!"

Huh? Was that right; I was drinking? My head's killing me... "What are you doing here, Phin?" I mumbled.

"Umm... more like what are _you_ doing here?" Phineas corrected.

"Don't I live here?"

Jacob shook his head. "Greg... we're not at home. You broke into Levi and Jasper's house and your in Pepper's bed."

"Pepper!? H-How is-? I fell asleep on our couch!" Didn't I? I glanced around the messy bedroom. It could have been a vampire's bedroom, I gue-No! This is serious! I broke into Mr. Levi's house? I passed out in Pepper's bed? I don't remember any of this!

Phineas traced a finger down my exposed stomach. I shivered at the frosty touch. Cold! Why's it cold!? "Ooh! Your fun when your drunk, Greg. Where'd your pants go?"

"Don't touch him!" Jacob removed his jacket and put it onto me before sweeping me off the bed. He quickly carried me out. "...Greg?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened? Why were you drinking, honey? You never do this... were you upset about something?"

"I think so... I-I can't remember anything. Just not having the energy to climb upstairs so I took the couch."

"Which never happened because you broke into Levi's house..."

"Yeah. I guess not, huh?"

"...Y-You weren't mad at me, were you?"

"I don't think so. I think I was mad at someone but..." I winced at my growing headache. "o-ow... am I naked?"

Jacob sighed. "No Greg, your not... but I really wish I knew what the heck you were thinking."

"I don't," I mumbled into his chest. "I think I was hurt... I lost something."

"You _lost_ something?"

"A very sacred bond. You always have a special place in your heart, for your first born..."

"What? First born? Oh...your upset at Wybie? Or..." He kicked open our front door. "are you talking about Seth and Angel?"

"...I don't remember, Jacob. I only feel it." I was lowered on the couch. A small blanket spread over my ruffled fur. I was drifting away...

Angel came to her mommy's side. "I-Is mama going to be okay?"

"Of course. Don't worry sweetheart, your mother just needs some rest. ...Angel. Your mom never mentioned anything about a bond to you, did he?"

"A bond?"

"Yes, something about the first born?"

"Oh... no. He never mentioned it, but I know about it."

Jacob kneeled down to his little secret-keeper. "Did you read it in his diary?"

Angel smiled brightly. "Mama lets me, he doesn't mind at all."

"Then you know who he's talking about? You can tell me. I'll give you a secret of mine in exchange for his."

"It's not a big secret. He's talking about big brother. He has special feelings for him, and he's very upset at Wybie for breaking his promises and leaving." Angel whispered to him.

"That makes sense. I thought Wybie was involved somehow. ..._Special feelings_? Like-Like how!? What kind of feelings!?" Jacob's eyes slid to the couch.

"I'm not sure. That's all I know, papa. Big brother is special to him."

"Then he really does..."

"Hmm."

Jacob gazed up at the stairwell where Seth happened to be coming down. "I don't get it! W-Why? When did this-!? Hey! Do you know anything about this bond?"

"What?" Seth replied.

"Papa... it's a secret, remember? Big brother doesn't know." Angel reminded him.

"What don't I know? ...What are we even talking about!?"

Jacob shook his head. "Never mind. Just don't... worry about it, Seth." He looked at Angel again. "You really don't know? Or are you just keeping your mother's secret?"

"Don't worry about it!? Then why did you!?-oh, what-ever! It's too early for this..." He muttered before stepping into the kitchen.

Angel shrugged her shoulders. "That's all I know, daddy. He calls it a sacred bond... It's special to him. And nobody can understand it."


End file.
